The Easy Choice

Sometimes it feels obvious what you are choosing. You don't even reflect on it; you choose on autopilot. It can be in connection with everything; what you eat, when you go to bed, your reaction to feeling misunderstood or your way of communicating when you are stressed. Every single day, you make a hell of a lot of choices - without reflecting on it.

It can become more or less toxic when you go on autopilot and choose without reflecting. Especially when you subconsciously make choices based on avoiding a possible consequence or conflict - or do what feels most safe and familar, even though it might not be the best for you.

 In other words; choices based on fear.

"I Am who I am. I Can't Change That.”

Yes, you can! You might not want to change who you are, and peace be with that. If you can find the peace with that yourself.
But you are able to change the way you think, act and react. Fair enought; it can be fear and insecurity speaking! This is perfectly understandable, but letting into fear and insecurity doesn't make you grow as a human being. It doesn't make you happier.

You will have to decide whether you want to choose the convenient or the meaningful.

Paradoxically, meaningfulness is rarely convenient…

tomorrow /təˈmɒrəʊ/(noun)

a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity,
motivation and achievement is stored.

Interior of a van with a fire pit outside, surrounded by nature.

In the process of choosing the meaningful, a stagnation point often arises. A pit stop of shorter or longer duration. The pit stop most often happens in the fantasy world you call "tomorrow".

  • Postponed Decisions

    You acknowledge and admit that you have to make another choice - but you will do so tomorrow. Or, when it is convenient or when you have time to deal with it.
    You're choosing not to prioritize the decision. Your autopilot will likely prioritize something that feels safe and known - and you convinze yourself that you are "forced" (Read: you choose) to take the easy path. You postpone your choice.

  • Compromise is Lowering Your Potential

    The statistics say that you are not trustworthy - and you are well aware of that. The result is simply; you do not trust yourself. As a result you expect less from yourself.
    You choose to compromise on the choices you have recognized are necessary for your positive development, you thereby compromise yourself and confirm the fact, that you're not investing in yourself.

Choose what you want to identify with.

I'm not saying this is easy. I'm telling you, you have a choice! You have the opportunity to grow, if you choose to do so. It's not all given in advance, through heritage and environment. You can break your patterns if you want to. It's a decision away. 

It is very possible that it becomes more difficult with time, as you shape and adapt through repeated choices, that turn into patterns,  that turn into habits. But it is your choice to create a different outcome for yourself.

What you often do, will become the easiest way for you. Not necessarily meaningful, healthy or enriching; but easy. The repeating  choices become firm, familiar and effective paths you choose to walk over and over again. You know them. You know what you can (and cannot) expect from them, even if the roads have not necessarily adapted to the best purposes. You don’t have to compromise. If you are not satisfied with the result of your efforts, you always have the opportunity to make another choice and shape it differently. Even though it might be harder and the road longer. 

Reflect on this: What would you like to identify with? Which choice will support the values in your life and make you proud of yourself and make you rely on yourself? Choose that.